[In Studio]: Dave, Billy
[Phone-Ins]: Carmen, Donovan
[Absentees]: Chris was celebrating his birthday at home, Matt was on tour with Velvet Revolver, and Donovan was in New York at Woodstock.
Rachel Hunter was originally supposed to join the guys this week but was unable to attend as she had rehearsals for "Dancing With The Stars."
After the guys played a quick catch up since missing a week, they brought up the Michael Jackson trial. Both admitted that they didn't follow the case, but Dave wanted him to moonwalk out of the courthouse, and Billy said he had no opinion.
When Carmen called, she shared how Dave moved the steps for Daisy to get up on the bed to the bedroom where he's sleeping in while she's out of town. Dave also mentioned that he learned more about her when she's away. He googled her the other day and found out she started a fire in her backyard because she was making fireworks on her own.
Coffee talk came up again this week. Billy said he was running late for the show and stopped in Starbucks and was behind a woman who wanted it the way she wanted it, and it had no coffee in it whatsoever and the clerk didn't know exactly what she wanted. Dave shared that everytime he goes to the Coffee Bean and asks for a drip and says no room for cream, that they still ask if he wants room for cream. Towards the end of the convo, Dave said he wanted to work it around to talking about how Empire Strikes Back was the electric car of the saga.
Camp Teddy did "Schools Out For Summer" by Alice Cooper. The guys got into broken arms since one of the kids has a brace on, and Dave mentioned if he broke his arm, he'd have a cast shaped so he could do something else, ie, masterbate.
The guy who called in two weeks ago and admitted that he stole something from the last TPC show was at the studio. He returned the pedal, and Billy said it would be best if they didn't bring the guy on the air. Dave was also debating whether or not to leave the show early to drive it over to Chris' house.
Since Dave didn't get in the previous week to do the whole supernatural show, there was a caller this week who shared a story oh how her mom was in a haunted house. Supposedly, if she dropped an object, the ghost would catch it, the dogs ball would all of a sudden move itself, and the "cold bath trick."
After the second call during the S&L Advice, he shared how, when he was on tour with RHCP, they got some girls and eventually Dave was left alone with one of the girls, and she masterbated and that was the first time he was a witness to a girl squirting. Quotes below.
A young girl called for Dave seeking help for an essay. At first, they weren't sure what she wanted, and was hoping she didn't hear the "squirting" discussion, so Billy took it and frantically suggested "tunnel," since he didn't know what to do with it. She eventually hung up after being put on hold.
[15 Minutes of Sex & Love Advice]:
The first caller was calling about admitting having sex with 50+ guys, which she lies about due to her "slut phase" in college. Their advice was for her not to lie about how many people she's been with, especially since there's a possibility they could run in to more of her flings than she's admitted to.
Next, a guy has a girlfriend who is a squirter and was freaked out about it since he had never seen it. Billy said he too was shocked his first time, though Dave hasn't had any experience with it.
[Quotes]:
"Do you wanna know something? I know he said he enjoyed the Ozzy show and I noticed that, they love it when we're not here." [Dave]
"They keep running the Ozzy show." [Billy, laughing]
"When we can't make it, they love it because they've got Ozzy on the radio!" [Dave]
"We could have a career of just running that show." [Billy]
"'Eh, you know you guys, why don't you take this week off, we're going to run that Ozzy show again, because people really do like him.'" [Dave]
"Let me tell you something honey, I can roll you tight enough and make you pop, if you know what I'm saying." [Dave, to Carmen after sharing the story of how she set her backyard on fire due to her being unable to roll the gun powder up tight enough]
"Frankly if I broke my arm, I'd have it shaped for doing one other thing. Just want to make sure that I could pleasure myself at night." [Dave]
"Absolutely." [Billy, laughing]
"'Uh, Doc, can you make it look like this?'" [Dave]
"Forget playing guitar." [Billy]
"Yeah, guitar, I could listen to that all day. Shape it so it looks like I'm holding a pipe, if you know what I'm saying." [Dave]
[during S&L Advice; Dave shares watching a girl squirt while on tour with RHCP:]
".. She kind've took care of herself, and did the whole squirting thing. And it was literally like I turned on the Science channel. Like I just instantly went from aroused to fascinated. And I started asking her questions which, frankly, she wasn't into that. I turned into that guy, 'so, is that uh, what kind've function would you say, primary response to the sexual nature' ya know, I just got into that guy." [Dave]
"And she was like 'dude, give me my money.'" [Billy]
"Yeah and the party came to a screeching hault and I came out, 'Anthony, you should've seen what this one could've done, it's pretty amazing, I've never seen anything quite like it.'" [Dave]
"It is a sight." [Billy]
"'From here to the Himalayas, tell ya, there's never been anything quite as extraordinary.'" [Dave]
